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******rest in peace******
1976-2005 |
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the ocean is teaching me patients.
When the wave dunks me without warning, I panic to find my breath
After some time I learn this is normal and I stop panicing, and I learn how to stay calm.
even when my board is being held 10 feet below me by the rip tide.
Sucking me out to see, with only a short breath
I panic.
And then relax, loving the near unconsious feeling. I float to the top anyway nothing to worry about.
cept that long swim back to shore, at least I can catch a few waves back for a laugh about it.
Today was harder the usale, everyone prefessed their conversation with an argument and out right yelling
in my face.
( Read more... )
The coolest part is though that now I am on the dpw lists, and crimson rose has asked me what would I like to do for the fire conclave this year. Solo, Duet, or Group? she says.
I sad cause I don't really have a group, and our duet act needs alot of work, and well.. it needs alot of work. sigh
I can't wait for the summer. |
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sigh
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Feb. 9th, 2005 @ 11:48 pm
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I throw myself at the ocean hopping to find some peace of mind,
getting tossed around by the rip tide,
the water goes black then green then black, forced and held under,
I gasp for air with such exsileration I hipervitilate, and get held under agian
Gasping for air I turn to the coast and try to settle my heart as it races
to find oxygen for my adrenline.
my heart is the saddest thing
depression rides on my heals.
I cheered myself up a little and read the DPW hand book located at..
Adobe Reader DPW Handbook. |
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I realize If I get out of bed and hour earlyer I can go take a swim in the ocean every morning..
it makes me happyier than I've ever been in awhile.
Turaus-
You've been working really hard with a bit more gusto than usual for the past six weeks. Well, guess what? It's time to be rewarded for your efforts -- yes, finally! This may not mean that a raise, promotion or bonus is coming your way today -- but it won't be far behind. Rest assured that the powers that be are investigating, and quite happy with what they've seen. -
wtf... I mean somtimes I wonder if the people writing these things are whatching me.
I remeber just a few weeks ago...
Look it. |
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Logan Mirto: you doing ok?
usan666: yeah, I'm a total idiot
Logan Mirto: Relationships make me say that so often.
usan666: and we had a complete failure of comunicattion and I got all bent out of shape over my assumptions, and had a psycotic episode.
Logan Mirto: eh. no good.
Logan Mirto: Glad things are better, then.
usan666: never the less our friend erin came over, and help us remeber each other, and by today we are all feeling better
usan666: I feel better anyway
usan666: and we smile alot
Logan Mirto: good good |
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So it's that time in my life again that I must starting looking for a new job..
Not that I haven't quit the old one, but I must cover my baisis. If I fail these exam tests and don't get my electrical certificate, than I'm out of work.
sigh.. I hate tests. |
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another 18 hour day...
that was odd, I thought I didn't have to do those anymore, I can't wait for this restraunt to be open.
will I work there too? |
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go me
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Jan. 30th, 2005 @ 09:41 pm
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tonight I meet with crimson rose and half of the fire kidz in san francisco to find out that auditions for the fire conclave will be in june, and this meeting will happen every last sunday of the month until then.
Yeah for fire conclave. |
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Today I went swimming in the ocean. In the middle of januaray the wet sewt I had did the job and kept me warm enough to play and splash in the low tide waves. |
| » yawn |
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green tea is good with mint ice cream and love
Jan. 27th, 2005 @ 08:18 am
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| » I learned something new this last week |
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I have a tendency to be non-confertational and passive-agrressive when it comes to sex.
So instead of getting frustrated, She say I should ask and communicate my needs more.
Being a 90% confertational person I was surprised to find myself being so passive.
We shall see if things get better...
Jan. 24th, 2005 @ 07:30 pm
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| » somedays are harder than others |
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and all the rest rock.
It is profound how close the horoscopes I've been reading are coinciding with the rollercoaster I'm on. I find them to be very releaving some how. Like oh since the gods do know about it, then they will do something about it.
*squish*
Jan. 23rd, 2005 @ 10:16 pm
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| » relaxation |
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things that I used to find hard to live with like...
P leaves at 6am and gets home at 10pm from work causes things to go arrie and we end up with no time to do the things we plan.
but for some reason I'm starting to let go and feel better about it all...
weeeee
Jan. 13th, 2005 @ 07:40 pm
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| » thinking of you |
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in the morning when I'm in the shower,
I'm thinking of you and touching myself.
at breakfeast eating a bowl of ceral
I'm wondering how I can please you more than the last.
ridding high on my pony, heading to work.
I'm palming my left breast the way you do when you spoon me.
Listening to the defening sound of work all around me.
I'm hoping to get off work and head home to you.
cuddling you gently as we fall to sleep
I'm grinning over your jucies wiped all over my skin.
while your sex drips down my nostrails
I lick my lips tasting you until you destract me
with your taunts to come over there and sit
next to you as my next dream unfolds before
morning comes.
The alarms go off only to single that we should hold each other closer.
Jan. 7th, 2005 @ 06:13 pm
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| » new years in steamboat |
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oOoo so L is spending it in SF, and thats fine, love ya wish you where here.
We've setup and tarped off the ceiling of the Grand Ball Room at the Grand Hotel
and have got 5 dj's 2 live bands, and a casino with blackjack and poker and craps and rolet
ooOoo to much fun.
xoxox
Dec. 31st, 2004 @ 05:25 pm
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| » ready set GO.. |
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and we're off the car is packed to the hilt with just enough room for L to ride all cumfy.
*PoOOow*
the road trip is on.
Dec. 27th, 2004 @ 04:08 pm
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| » christmas in 5 days? |
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I woke up today more tired than I have ever been before.
I slept in.. I still got to work, and finished all my assignments on time today.
sigh.
Dec. 20th, 2004 @ 07:19 pm
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| » Everyone Hang on to your butts Mecurary has been in retrograde for like a week now. |
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Poll #404128 Best Holiday...
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5When was the best holiday of your entire life, so far..
Dec. 15th, 2004 @ 08:43 pm
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| » to many things to do and not enough time |
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I'm getting tired of always doing something, I feel like I want to just lay down
but then everything will fail.
Dec. 15th, 2004 @ 08:07 pm
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usan's journal
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